Three words: puerto rican gang bang
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
