it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
