I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Randomize
