This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
