we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize