Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
