Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize