It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
