He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
