I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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