I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize