put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
