I am puke
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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