hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
