I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
