We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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