Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Randomize
