i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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