I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
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Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
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jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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