I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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