just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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