I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
