Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
