Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(386): View more from Florida

Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved

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(813): View more from Florida

He had one of those small greek statue penises

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(360): View more from Washington

While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night

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(520): View more from Arizona

She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.

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(509): View more from Washington

We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.

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(917): View more from New York City

No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.

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(563): View more from Iowa

Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.

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