It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
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Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
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How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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