Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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