butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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