So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
she woke up with a sticky ear
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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