I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
