she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
