quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Randomize
