i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Randomize
