I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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