I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize