its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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