Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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