____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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