You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
