but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
