??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
my poor anus
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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