I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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