Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
