If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
The best revenge is premature balding
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
this just has baby written all over it
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
