If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
