NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
