yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
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I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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