you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
When did angry sex become our thing?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
