get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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