i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
