Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
