there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
