You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
sarcasm needs its own font
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
