My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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