Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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