i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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