Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
