my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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