You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
