yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
You made me cry and you don't even care
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
