You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
