anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
