Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
so much tequila, so little girl.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
