Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
birth control should be required to get into college
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
