did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
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