I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
