we have pet lesbian snakes
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
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