It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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