Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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