walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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